Getting Back in the Game

You may have noticed that not much has happened in this space for quite some time. Well, that's all about to change. Stay tuned for some exciting new goings on here. I'm moving through some changes. When I'm done, look out world!

Life, Unfulfilled

In light of a story I heard today about one of my stepson's friends, I've decided to post the lyrics to a song I wrote and recorded about a year or so ago.

Life, Unfulfilled
(copyright 2009 by Bob Iles)

Take a good look in the mirror
Do you recognize the face that you see
There's a demon inside that controls you
You're in a place that you don't want to be
The needle is lying beside you
And the spoon's well withing your reach
There's a bottle of whiskey, some pills for good measure
It's escape from some hell that you seek

You feel the darkness
Descending upon you
And the walls come crashing in
And you just can't survive any longer
It's a battle you just can't win

One by one all your friends have left you
They just couldn't look on anymore
All alone there's just time for reflection
You tried but couldn't even the score
You've abandoned all those who have loved you
Tried to help but you drove them away
And now there's fear in your eyes as you wonder
If you'll live to see another day

You feel the darkness
Descending upon you
And the walls come crashing in
And you just can't survive any longer
It's a battle you just can't win

Now you face an important decision
How to regain control of your life
But the needle it looks so inviting
One more time just to make it alright
In the depths of your demon addiction
Is the answer to your endless pain
And you pray that end will come quickly
As the knife opens up your veins

You feel the darkness
Descending upon you
As the pain slowly slips away
And you just can't survive any longer
The demon's coming and he's gonna be paid

You feel the darkness
Descending upon you
And the walls come crashing in
And you just can't survive any longer
It's a battle you just can't win

See the video below:



Recorded version can be heard at my Soundclick page.

Get Off The Phone!!!

June 18, 2010

West Berlin, NJ

To whom it may concern:

If you're in line at the grocery store, and there are other people within earshot, get off the phone. We don't need to hear which of your friends is sleeping with her brother-in-law, or what you're going to do to your husband if you catch him with another woman again. I'm quite sure the cashier doesn't care, either. You wouldn't like it if I were trying to conduct business with you while at the same time yakking away to someone else on my cell phone. So get off the phone, or get out of line. Either way, show some respect for others.

If you're driving down the road, one hand on the wheel and the other glued to your ear, holding a cell phone, end the call. I'm driving behind you, or worse, in the lane next to you, and you're speeding up, and slowing down, and speeding up...then you're drifting into oncoming traffic and into my lane, nearly hitting other vehicles in the process. There is nothing so god damned important about your stupid phone call that you need to put others' lives at risk. Just hang up, pull over, and call the person back. Is it really that hard? Use your head. Seriously.

Thank you for you anticipated cooperation concerning this matter.

Sincerely,

The General Public

There's a Spill in the Gulf?

Oh my. Say it isn't so. There's an oil spill in the Gulf? How could this have happened? Surely these giant oil companies, who have raked in record profits in recent years have at least spent some money addressing safety issues and making needed repairs. What's that? They haven't spent money on those important things? How much you want to bet BP reports massive profits even in the wake of the largest oil spill in US history? And then when it comes to pay damages to those affected by this disaster, they will claim they can't afford to pay.

And one more thing to ponder...how much does Halliburton stand to make from all of this.

Self-Reflection

So here I am, just over a year removed from losing my job. I went through every emotion, feeling and state of mind you could possibly think of. I eventually got over the anger and the negative feelings. I still feel like I have a lot to offer; I'd like to someday get another chance to help the company. Even at the end, when I was in such a personal and professional funk that it was hard to focus on the job at hand, all I ever really wanted was to help the company grow. Why do I feel that way? Because for the bulk of my adult life, that job was all I ever knew.

It was a major part of my life for nearly 14 years when it all came crashing down. Looking back, I should have seen it coming, but was too blind, or too unwilling to admit it was coming. There are so many factors that played a part in it all, but ultimately, the blame rests solely on my shoulders. Every day, I think about things I should have done to fix the problems that were controlling me. I should have been the one in control, not all the outside factors.

I've learned a lot in the past year. First and foremost is that I really miss that place. The people were fun to work with, for the most part (I'm sure I wasn't always such a thrill to be around). We all had a great symbiotic relationship, where it was ok for an individual to not know the answer to, or how to do something; there was always somebody in the office who could help.

Secondly, I found out what a nightmare the unemployment system in New Jersey is to deal with. I'm pretty sure it's probably very similar elsewhere, too. There are some good programs as far as re-training and such, but sometimes it seems like even the good things are far from worth the hassle. I've tried to do everything by the book; this was all very new to me having never really collected unemployment, save for a few isolated months when business was slow. I'm finding that it doesn't always pay to do things the way they are supposed to be done. It seems like every few weeks another problem pops up that threatens to really send things spiraling. And most of those issues stem from the colossal bureaucracy that is the state of NJ.

Anyway, here I am. I completed the computer training I sought in an effort to make myself more marketable to future employers. Now I'm finding how deep the economic downturn has been. I'm also finding myself in a strange position of being either over- or under-qualified for various positions. I have never had a problem finding a job until now. It's a lot of work, and a lot of frustration. But I'm determined to make it. I have to make it. And I will make it.

I hope to someday be able to sit down with my former employer and talk about what went wrong. I'd like to tell him how sorry I am to have let him down. And how I've let myself down, too. Writing this down here is very therapeutic for me. I never intended for this blog to get this personal, but I needed to get all this off my mind. Here's to a better and brighter future for us all.

Thanks, friends.

-Bob

Looks Like We're In For It

Summer's about here. It reared its ugly head last week during the first heatwave of 2010. Seriously. A friggin' heatwave in May/June. If last week was any indication of what's to come, we're in for a hot hot hot summer! Not so bad for those of you who work inside. Not so good for those of you who work outside.

I was going through some of my pictures this afternoon and came across one that serves as a reminder of the winter we had. This one was taken from my dining room, looking out across the deck into the winter wonderland of the backyard. Enjoy!

On Celebrating Turning 40

Wow! What a party! Hats off to my kids for throwing the big shindig. Thanks, guys! I had an absolute blast.

Thanks to all the guests who were able to make it out. You guys all played a huge role in making my 40th birthday one of the best birthdays I've ever had. I hope you had as much fun as I did.

The band was on fire by all accounts. I'm sure we've picked up some new fans. Thanks to the band: Mick Green, Mark Green, Lee Weiner, Russ Pillsbury, and Miki Gioia. Somehow we always seem to pull it off!

Special thanks to my beautiful wife Sharon. You busted your ass to make this party a success, and you really pulled it off. Everyone said the food was incredible. The whole thing went off without a hitch, and the weather was nice enough to cooperate, though it did threaten a bit. I'm so proud of you. And I'm blessed that you're my wife. I love you.

On Turning 40

Well, it's here. The big Four-Oh. Frankly, it doesn't feel all that much different than 39. For that matter, it doesn't feel all that much different than 30. Just a few more gray hairs, a few less hairs altogether. Otherwise, not much different.

I'm hoping this can be a watershed year for me. Those of you who know me know that I've been out of work for just over a year now. It's been a long year full of life lessons and eye-opening revelations. I took a computer class or two, or three, and now I'm hoping to make a mark in the IT world. I expect to be in a better place soon, and on my way to my greatest successes ever.

Thanks to my family and friends, old and new, for your support this past year. Your kind words and advice will not go unnoticed or unheeded. You've all touched me in ways I'd never known possible, and for that I am truly grateful.

Finally, I am so looking forward to celebrating this next chapter tomorrow. Should be a helluva shindig!

Talk to you all soon. And maybe I'll even post a few "incriminating" photos of the suarez!

Yours,

Bob

Stanley Cup Finals

Is anyone watching the Stanley Cup Finals? I can't believe how evenly matched the Blackhawks and the Flyers are in this series. Each game has been decided by one goal, with the Flyers taking Game 3 in OT Wednesday at the Wachovia Center in Philly. According to the Versus announcers, this game featured the largest crowd ever to witness an NHL game in the state of Pennsylvania. Pretty cool, if you're a Flyers fan.

Make sure to watch Game 4 Friday night. I hope the Flyers can tie the series up at 2 games apiece, before heading back to Chicago for Game 5.

Coming Soon!

So new to this that I have no idea where to start. Let me work a few things out in my head, and I promise to post something a little more interesting.

For now, welcome to my blog. I hope this is the beginning of something new and exciting.

And in the meantime, please check out this article I wrote about a hobby of mine. Enjoy!!

-Bob